


Flying without wings

by Aeris444



Category: Merlin (TV), Ski Jumping RPF
Genre: 2018 Winter Olympics, Crossover, Enemies to Lovers, Friends to Enemies, M/M, Merlin Olympics, Ski Jumping, Winter Olympics, mentions of real ski jumpers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-22
Updated: 2018-02-22
Packaged: 2019-03-22 16:06:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13767672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aeris444/pseuds/Aeris444
Summary: Merlin is making his dream true by going to Olympics as the only British ski jumper. The only cloud is the sky is his relationship with Arthur König, the best ski jumper at the moment and his ex bestfriend and training mate.





	Flying without wings

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is for manitrix! I promised you a ski jumping AU back in 2015 and never managed to write it! At first, I thought, I'd write a little something to make up for it. In the end, I managed to nearly write the fic I had in mine in 2015! So I hope you'll like it!  
> Thanks to pelydryn77 for the fast and wonderful beta! She's now repeating "comma" in her sleep, though ;-)

Merlin closed the door of his room and put his suitcase and bags down. The room was quite spacious with a common lounge and a small kitchen. There were two bedrooms with two beds each. As the only British ski jumper, Merlin would be sharing with a cross-country skier named Leon Knightley, who was set to arrive only on the next day as his competition was starting later. The other room was already occupied by two snowboarders. 

Merlin sat on his bed and took a deep breath. He was here, he was really here, at the Olympics! A dream come true. He had made so many sacrifices since that first jump when he had been just 6 years old. The hardest one had been to leave his country and family to go train in Germany. 

Merlin remembered the day he had come to Oberstdorf with Gaius, his uncle and coach. 

***

“So, you are Merlin, then?” the man asked. 

Merlin nodded timidly, grasping Gaius’ hand more tightly. His uncle has said that the an was going to coach him, too.

The man smiled.

“It’s alright, Merlin! We will have time to know each other better! You’ll train with my son, Arthur. He’s a little older than you, so you can watch him and try to do the same.”

Merlin nodded again.

“Follow me, we’re going to see the venue! Arthur is already training there, so you can meet him!”

They followed the man and went outside to the Heini Kopfler Schantze. It was huge and Merlin couldn’t help but gape at it, trying to distinguish the top through the morning mist. 

That’s when a blond boy came running towards them.

“Vati!!”

“Arthur!” 

The older man took the little boy in his arms and they hugged before turning towards Merlin and Gaius.

“Arthur, meet Merlin and his uncle Gaius,” he said in a very slow English. “Merlin will be training with us from now on. He comes from England.”

Arthur nodded and came closer to them. In a formal way, he offered his hand to shake.

“I am Arthur… Very nice to meet you.”

“Hi,” Merlin answered, not sure what to think of that boy.

It was the start of Merlin’s career as a ski jumper… and the start of his troubled history with Arthur König.

***

The wind was strong around Merlin. It was colder than he had expected, but he had to disregard all this. 

Merlin was sitting on the gate. He looked downhill. Shorter jumps were not his forte. He had always been more a flyer than a jumper due to his lean morphology. These were the Olympics, though, and Merlin was set to do his best! With Gaius they had set his objectives: being part of the final round on the small hill and trying to reach a top ten on the large hill.

This year had been Merlin’s first one at the top level after two years spent in between the World Cup and the Continental Cup, and his recent results had attracted some attention. He had finished second at Oberstdorf and third in Garmisch Partenkirchen, earning a wonderful fifth place overall in the Four Hills Tournament. Then he had won the competition in Zakopane just before the Olympics.

Now he was here, and these first training jumps were going to set the direction for the rest of the competition. They were important, and Merlin knew he had to focus and try not to be overwhelmed by the event. 

He took a deep breath, checked his boot fastenings, stretched and looked at Gaius, waiting for the signal to go and jump.

***

“Merlin!”

Merlin recognised Gwaine’s voice and accent and turned just in time to be engulfed in one of the Austrian’s signature hugs.

“Gwaine! Happy to see you!”

Gwaine and Merlin were very close friends as Merlin had been training in Austria for five years now. And the guy was so outgoing and easily loveable Merlin kept wondering if it was possible not to be friends with him… 

The only person immune to Gwaine’s charm seemed to be Arthur König. Though, to be honest, Arthur seemed to be immune to everything. After a few years of training with Uther in Germany, Merlin had left for Austria, and since that moment it had been like Arthur had forgotten about him and the years they had shared as friends. Arthur was now cold and vain. It was a change Merlin couldn’t explain and something that still hurt him a bit.

Gwaine and Merlin talked about their respective trips to Korea as Merlin had made a detour through London before flying to Pyeongchang whereas Gwaine had flown with the Austrian team directly from Willingen.

They talked until it was time to concentrate for the start of the second training session and promised to call each other after the jumps to meet later at the Olympic village.

***

In the end, Merlin was satisfied with his training jumps. He had good feelings, and even if small hills weren’t his strong point, he was confident for the qualification on the next day. There was also a great atmosphere. Things were always quite friendly between the jumpers, but this was different. They were all so happy to be there, to take part in such an event…whether their first Games or not. 

That being said, it didn’t seem to have any effect on Arthur, though. He had still ignored Merlin, like he had done at every competition since Merlin had joined the World Cup.

Merlin was now more or less used to it. Though, he remembered very well how it had hurt at first. After having spent so many years living, training and growing up with Arthur, being able to compete with him at the top level of their sport had been Merlin’s dream. Never did he anticipate the cold stare from Arthur and his harsh words: “We’re not boys anymore, Merlin. I’m here to win, and you’re just one of the people standing between me and my objective”.

It was like the young, funny boy Merlin had known had been replaced by a cold competitor. 

“Hey! Merlin! Come here!” 

It was Gwaine again, surrounded by the rest of the Austrian team. They were like Merlin’s teammates most of the year, so it felt very reassuring to have them congratulate him on his jumps. They even invited him and Gaius in their shuttle to go back to the Olympic Village. 

***

Merlin took a deep breath and sat on the platform. He looked at Gaius waiting for him to lower the small UK flag. Another deep breath, and finally Gaius moved his arm and Merlin just pushed forward. He was gliding, picking up speed, his eyes focused on the end of the jump, and there he was, jumping, flying.

The wind was perfect, helping him, supporting him. Merlin was slowly going down, but he knew it was a great jump.

He finally touched the snow, just before the green light line, managing to touch down with a rather good telemark! He heard the people cheering around him, confirming his feeling about his jump. 

He waited for his score in the landing area. 102 meters and great notations from the judges! Merlin went out with a large smile. He was certain of being qualified for the final and really happy with the sensations he had in air. 

He was congratulated by the other jumpers as he went to the judge’s room to have his suit inspected. Then he came back to watch the last jumps. Arthur, as the leader of the World Cup, would be jumping last. Gwaine, third to last. 

Merlin jumped in joy when Gwaine got the lead. He was always happy to see his friend perform well. A few minutes later, it was Arthur’s turn. The wind had picked up, and his jump was slightly delayed. Gwaine had joined Merlin at the bottom of the jumping area. The atmosphere was more tense. Arthur had had a wonderful season so far. He had won seven events and four of them had been the Four Hills Tournaments ones, making him the second man to do that grand slam. All eyes were on him for the gold medal, and it started with this qualification.

Finally, Arthur was allowed to jump. His fly was good but the wind conditions not so much, and he ended with an average jump putting him only in seventh position. 

The disappointment was visible on his face when he came out of the landing area, his eyes on the ground. 

“Still so joyful and smiley,” Gwaine murmured to Merlin as Arthur passed by them.

“Stop, Gwaine. They made him jump in bad conditions. He can be grumpy.”

“I will never understand why you’re always defending him… He treats you like a chewing gum stuck to his sole. I know you spent years training together and that he was important in your formation as a jumper, but look at it Merlin. He doesn’t even say hello to you anymore!”

Merlin knew Gwaine was right, but it wasn’t a discussion he wanted to have now. Not when he had to concentrate, not when he needed to stay focused.

If he was honest with himself, Merlin didn’t understand Arthur, but he knew why he was still defending him.

He was in love. He was in love with Arthur König, best ski jumper in the world. And that wasn’t new.

***

“Merlin, come!” Arthur called from downstairs. 

Merlin could hear the excitement in his friend’s voice and he was in the same state. Uther was taking them to see the 4 Hills Tournament competition, to see the jumpers they admired from afar.

Merlin took his backpack and went down the stairs to join Arthur. They ran outside to board Uther’s car.

“Ready boys?”

Both nodded enthusiastically.

**

“Merlin! Did you see how still he was in the air?”

“Yeah, and his head was nearly in between his skis!”

“I want to jump like that.”

The boys were chatting animatedly, curry wurtz and coke in hands. They had found a secluded spot at the base of the jumping area, away from fans and just behind the athletes’ portacabin. They had already seen a lot of their favourite jumpers pass, and Merlin had even managed to snatch a few autographs. 

“Hey, Merlin,” Arthur said, suddenly calmer and more serious.

“Yeah?” 

Merlin looked at Arthur and noticed the sauce at the corner of his mouth.

“Arthur, you have some... “ Merlin gestured to Arthur’s mouth, but as his friend missed the right spot, he wiped it himself.

“Oh, thanks.”

There was suddenly a tension between them, Merlin’s hand still in mid-air next to Arthur’s face, their eyes fixed on each other. Merlin watched Arthur, and for a brief instant he wondered what it would feel like to kiss him. The thought was rapidly dismissed as Uther came searching for them.

It’s only later that day, as Merlin was lying in bed, that he realised he had no idea of what Arthur had wanted to tell him.

***

“Arthur König, one hundred forty-nine and a half meters,” the official commentator announced. 

Everyone knew what it meant. With the wonderful telemark, Arthur was certain to score high. He would be Olympic champion!

Merlin smiled. He was honestly happy for his old friend. Winning an Olympic title had been one of their shared dreams as children and seeing Arthur make that come true was moving.

Finally, the score appeared, confirming Arthur in first place. Applause came from the stands, and all the German team ran to congratulate their leader. 

After his great performances during the season, Arthur’s victory was well-deserved, and all the jumpers went to congratulate him as he came out of the landing area. Merlin was part of them. But when Arthur came next to him, he purposefully ignored Merlin again. 

Merlin didn’t understand. He knew Arthur didn’t like him, that the friendship they had shared as young boys had disappeared, but why so much indifference? Gwaine was right; he was treating him like shit. 

Could it still be some resentment because of Merlin’s departure to train in Austria? So many years later, could Arthur still be angry because Merlin made that decision? It didn’t make any sense. They were adults. Arthur should have realised Merlin had made the right choice for his career.

Merlin’s thoughts were interrupted by Gaius calling him for the debriefing. 

*** 

Innsbruck… The prospect of living in a larger and busier city was exciting, as was the opportunity to train on the Bergisel. Merlin knew the move to Austria was important for his career. In the last year, he hadn’t really made the progress that was expected of him, and if he wanted to join the World Cup level in the next years, he had to change his training routine. The opportunity to go train with the Austrian team in Innsbruck was one of a lifetime. He would still be trained by Gaius but with the help of Tristan Hofer, who was the official trainer of Gwaine Ritter, the young Austrian prodigy that was set to compete in some World Cup events the next season at only 16 years old.

It didn’t made Merlin’s departure from Oberstdorf easier. Leaving the town he had learned to call home, leaving the place where he had learn everything he knew about ski jumping. And leaving Arthur. 

The decision to move to Austria had been confirmed a week earlier, but Merlin had asked Gaius and Uther not to tell Arthur. He wanted to be the one breaking the news to his friend. He hadn’t yet found the courage to do so, but now he’ll have to as Gaius has just informed him they would leave in two weeks, a month earlier than initially scheduled.

In the end, Merlin saw his opportunity when Arthur asked to meet him at the top of the ski jump in the waiting room because he wanted to talk to him. As Arthur had been close to the caretaker, they had managed to get the keys of the building years ago, and the small room had become their refuge. When the ski jump was empty, late at night, they would come there to talk about everything and anything, from how their day went to their dreams or fears. It was there that Arthur had told Merlin about his mother’s death for the first time. It was here that Merlin had cried on Arthur’s shoulder, feeling homesick. It was there that Arthur told Merlin about his night with Gwen, a young skier he had met a few weeks before; it was there also that along the years Merlin had realised his feelings for Arthur were way deeper than friendship. At first, he had considered the older boy like a big brother, but you’re not supposed to want to kiss your brother or be aroused by seeing them naked in the shower. It was there, up in the air, that Merlin had truly admitted he was in love with Arthur. And it would be there that he would tell him he had to leave.

**

Merlin was waiting for Arthur. He had gone up here early, wanting some time to think about the best way to break the news to Arthur. In the end, he was convinced there wasn’t a right way to do it. 

When Arthur came in, Merlin was still pacing around, too nervous to sit down. His stress must have been visible as Arthur immediately asked, “Merlin? What’s going on?”

Merlin looked at Arthur and felt his heart tighten.

“I… I have something to tell you.”

“Ok… Nothing serious, I hope?”

Merlin didn’t answer and sat on the bench facing the windows and looked outside. In the darkness, he couldn’t see the hill but he knew it was there. Telling Arthur about his departure was like jumping… Picking up some speed, jumping and feeling the void under him. Though, this time, it was more like jumping without skis to help him fly.

Arthur sat next to him and nudged his shoulder.

“So? What do you want to tell me? Because I’ve also something to ask you.”

For a brief moment, Merlin wanted to tell Arthur to go first but postponing it wasn’t going to make it easier. He had already tried that.

“I… I’m leaving. I’m going to train in Austria.”

Merlin didn’t dare look at Arthur and kept his eyes on the darkness outside.

“I’m not progressing fast enough, and Uther and Gaius think it would be great for me to change my training routine. Tristan Hofer has offered to train me. I can’t refuse that.”

That was it. He said it. Merlin waited for Arthur’s response, but the room remained silent for long minutes.

“When are you leaving?” Arthur finally asked, his voice cold and detached. 

“In two weeks. At first I thought I’d stay until the summer break, but Tristan wants to test me before so…”

“I see.”

And without another word, Arthur stood up and left.

Merlin was left alone, not understanding what had just happened.

***

Merlin went back to the Olympic Village after a busy day. First he had had a light training session in the morning after the jump from the day before. Then he had gone back to the Olympic Village to meet Gwaine and the Austrian team. They had decided to make the most of their free day and go watch some other competitions. 

First they went to the female freestyle skiing as Morgana Lefay was a good chance of medal for Great Britain. Merlin had met her in the plane coming to Pyeongchang. She had been a little cold at first, but along the way they had become fast friend. In the end, she got the silver medal, and Merlin was really happy for her.

After that, they went to the curling center were Gwaine wanted to cheer for Percival Armstrong, an American curler he had met in the Village. There had been protests about the fact that curling was boring, but Gwaine’s smile had won in the end. And if the way he and Percival looked at each other when they went to congratulate the US team for their victory, Gwaine would win again that night.

Merlin went back to his room with a smile on his lips. It had been a good day. Gwaine, Michaël, Stefan and Manuel were always fun to be around.

As the UK had won a medal that day, Merlin supposed there would be some party in the Team GB house. He would get a shower and then go see what was going on. 

As he walked through the Olympic Plaza, he spotted Arthur with Markus. He jogged to join them. He knew Arthur was probably going to ignore him, but after what happened the day before, he really wanted to understand.

“Arthur!” he called as he joined them.

“Merlin.”

Once again, Arthur was cold. Merlin knew he had answered only because Markus was there.

“Can we talk for a moment?”

Merlin saw Arthur hesitate but Markus was faster.

“I leave you guys! Bye Merlin!”

Left alone, Arthur had no way out.

“Arthur… I know we’re not friends anymore but… Why are you like that?”

“Like what, Merlin? We’re competitors, we’re adversaries. Whatever we had when we were young boys is lost. I want to win, I want to be the best, I have no time to lose with futilities like friendship.”

Merlin was left stunned. Even as a child, Arthur had always been ambitious but never that cold and selfish.

“I see…”

“Don’t make your puppy eyes, Merlin! It’s not like you don’t have other friends! Team Austria has even adopted you, didn’t they?”

“You’re following me on Instagram?”

Merlin had posted a picture of him with Gwaine, Michaël, Stefan and Manuel and tagged it with “happy adopted son”. 

“Of course not…”

Merlin would have sworn Arthur was blushing.

“Like I said,” Arthur continued, “I don’t have time for these things. So if you’ll excuse me.”

And once again, Arthur tried to leave. 

Merlin was frustrated by Arthur’s behaviour. He wanted answers, he wanted to finally understand what was going on.

“No, this time, I’ll not let you go without some explanation!” Merlin’s voice was rising. For years, he had managed to put this on the side and concentrate on his career. But now it was too much. With the pressure of the Olympics, he couldn’t bear it anymore. 

“You can lie to me, Arthur, but you can’t fool yourself! We were best friends, even closer than that, and then nothing! I tried calling you, I tried…”

“Stop, Merlin, you’re making a scene!”

“I don’t care if I am! If you had talked to me like a normal person, I wouldn’t have been forced to do this!”

“Alright… You want to talk, we’re going to talk, but not here!”

Arthur took Merlin’s arm and led him to the tower where the German team was based. Merlin followed, too surprised by Arthur’s turnaround to react.

Arthur led them to the athlete’s lounge, which was empty at that time. He sat in one of the armchairs, leaving the couch to Merlin.

Now that he had calmed down and that Arthur was finally okay to talk, Merlin didn’t know what to say.

“I thought you wanted to talk,” Arthur said after a moment of silence.

“Why… Why do you hate me, Arthur?” Merlin finally asked, knowing it was the question that had haunted him for years, since Arthur had never answered his calls and messages, nearly seven years before.

“I don’t hate you, Merlin.”

For the first time since Oberstdorf, there wasn’t disdain in the way Arthur said Merlin’s name.

“Then why are you acting like that? Why didn’t you answer my calls after I left? Why are you lying?”

Arthur sighed and looked at the floor.

“It’s… Merlin, when you left...Oh God… Why couldn’t you hate me in return? Why do you have to be so persistent!” Arthur groaned.

“Because I still care about you, Arthur! We lived together for nearly 6 years, we grew up together! I can’t forget all that!”

“I… I didn’t forget either.”

Merlin smiled at Arthur’s admission, finally seeing his old friend under the cold armour.

“Then why?” There wasn’t any frustration in Merlin’s tone anymore. He knew Arthur was going to tell him the truth, finally.

“That night… I had asked you to come because I had something to tell you, do you remember?”

Arthur left his eyes and looked at Merlin who nodded, the memory still vivid.

“I… I wanted to ask you out.”

“Ask me out?” Merlin repeated. In all the scenarios he had imagined to explain Arthur’s behaviour, he had never thought about that one.

“Yes… I… I was in love with you, Merlin.”

Merlin looked at Arthur and saw the sadness in his eyes. He reviewed their conversation in the waiting room. Arthur wanting to confess his love and Merlin telling him he was leaving. It must have hurt.

Arthur was now hunched over, his hands intertwined, his arms on his knees, looking at the floor again. 

“I… I didn’t know. I’m sorry.”

Merlin felt the urge to apologise. He hadn’t done it knowingly, but he had hurt his best friend… the man he loved.

“Don’t be… You weren’t meant to know, and I should have told you earlier about my feelings, but I was afraid… You were my best friend and I didn’t want to lose that.”

Arthur looked so fragile suddenly, his cold demeanour forgotten, his armour of distance broken to shards.

“I understand,” Merlin answered and, in an impulse, took Arthur’s hands in his. Arthur looked at him in surprise but didn’t move. 

“Arthur...I… When I told you I was leaving, I knew about it for weeks but I couldn’t find the courage to tell you...because it hurt too fucking much to leave you…”

“Merlin…” 

“No… Let me finish. It hurt because you were my best friend and because… I loved you.”

“Merl…”

Merlin interrupted Arthur by putting his index finger on his lips, knowing that if he didn’t confess at that moment, he would have let his best opportunity pass.

“And I still love you, Arthur. That’s why it was so hard to be ignored by you. I… I know we can’t erase the past but… Now I realise that if I want to go on, I need to be honest with you about this, to put an end to these questions that have been troubling me for years.”

Merlin removed his finger and Arthur removed his hands from Merlin’s. 

“Go on with Gwaine?” Arthur asked, his tone colder again.

“What? At the moment, Gwaine is probably learning how to use that American curler’s broom if you know what I mean!”

“So you and Gwaine aren’t…”

This time, Merlin laughed out loud. This was just ridiculous.

“Haven’t you heard what I said? I still love you. I know it’s pointless, but you can’t command your feelings.”

“I know that… I tried, you know.” Arthur answered. He stood up and went to sit next to Merlin in the couch.

“Hum?”

Their thighs were touching. They hadn’t sat that close in years, and yet it still fell so familiar for Merlin.

“I tried to command my feelings, too,” Arthur started again. “But I wasn’t lucky with that, either.”

Merlin looked at Arthur, searching in his eyes for the confirmation of what he thought his friend meant. 

“Yes, I lied earlier when I said I loved you…”

“Arthur…”

“Let’s not do this here!”

And once again, Arthur took Merlin’s hand and led him, this time to his room. As soon as the door was closed, Merlin felt pushed against it.

“I didn’t want to risk being interrupted…”

“Doing what?” Merlin teased.

“This.”

And finally, Arthur kissed him. It was nothing like Merlin had imagined during years; it was different, it was perfect. 

He put his arms around Arthur’s shoulders and deepened their kiss.

They only separated to breathe, their kiss becoming messier and more passionate, a release for years of frustration.

Though as things started to become heated, Arthur finally let go of Merlin.

“We… We need to stop...We can’t now.”

Merlin groaned even if he knew Arthur was right.

“We’ve waited for so long, I suppose a few days won’t change anything.”

“Yeah.”

Arthur came closer again, leaning to put his forehead against Merlin.

“I love you.” 

“Me, too. And you better win that stupid Large Hill so we can celebrate!”

They both started laughing.

“I promise… And after the team event, we will have time to talk… and make up for lost time.”

“Yes…”

Merlin leaned against Arthur’s torso, enjoying the tight hug Arthur gave him.

When he left Arthur’s room a little later, Merlin was giddy with happiness, but he knew he had to get his focus back if he wanted to make the most of his opportunity of being at the Olympics. They were athletes; they had made so many sacrifices to be there, he couldn’t waste that chance.

***  
As soon as he touched the snow, Merlin knew he had made a super jump. He had landed after the green light, managed a clean telemark and according to the crowd cheering, he should be leading.

He saw Gwaine jump in the air in the waiting area, and a few seconds later, his score appeared on the big screen. 142 metres and a total of 142 points. He was in the lead! He couldn’t believe it. So many thoughts passed through his mind as he rejoined the leader’s waiting spot. He was assured of a medal with only Arthur left to jump. Arthur… He and Arthur sharing an Olympic podium! It felt like a dream coming true. 

Arthur had finished the first round with five more points than Merlin. So even if his jump wasn’t as good as Merlin’s, he still could win gold.

Merlin put on a jacket and looked at the big screen where he saw Arthur sitting on the platform. He saw him push and slide along the hill. He held his breath as Arthur jumped through the air. He was so still through the jump and then he landed, just before the green line. His jump was shorter than Merlin’s, but his technique was flawless...not talking about his five points margin.

His teammate came to the landing area, surrounding him as everyone held their breath, waiting for the official result.

It was like being stuck in time… Until, finally, the big screen showed Arthur’s results and just before his name a large number one.

Arthur König was double Olympic champion!

Merlin couldn’t hide his joy! He was so happy for Arthur, and so proud of his silver medal which was way better than he had hoped for his first Games. He let go of his gear and wanted to join Arthur in the landing zone to congratulate him. His teammates had picked him up though, and they were parading him as Arthur enjoyed the ovation of the audience. Merlin stayed where he was, aware of the cameras around him.

Finally, Arthur was coming towards him and Merlin couldn’t resist the urge to hug him. It was a common gesture between jumpers but not between the two of them, and Merlin could hear the collective gasp.

“Well done, Arthur.”

“Thanks. You did well, too.”

“Couldn’t leave you alone on that podium.”

They exchanged a warm smile, and Merlin let go of Arthur. They would have time later to celebrate.

***

After the jump, there were interviews, official pictures with the plushies, and the official press conference and then the debriefing with the coach. 

And then everyone was finally leaving the site to go back to the Village.

“Merlin!” Arthur’s voice called.

“Hey!”

“I… I just wanted to… We’re going to celebrate in the German House tonight and…I know I need to train tomorrow but… I’d like it if you’d come to my room after your own celebrations…”

Seeing Arthur so hesitant made Merlin’s heart melt. Merlin’s own Olympics were finished as he wasn’t taking part in the team event, but he wasn’t leaving Korea until Wednesday. He would have liked to stay until the Closing Ceremony, but the World Cup was starting over two weeks later, and with the time difference, nearly all the jumpers were going back to Europe before the end of the Games to be ready for Lahti.

“Of course, I’ll come.”

Arthur’s smile was blinding. 

“Here is my number. Message me when you’re finished.”

Merlin nodded, and Arthur left to join his team.

***

Merlin woke up feeling rested and more safe than he had ever felt. Arthur’s arms were still around him, but he had turned in his sleep to put his head on Arthur’s torso.

The night before, after their team celebration, as planned, Merlin had joined Arthur, who had asked Markus his roommate to leave the room for the night.

As they were tired by the long day of competition and celebrations, they just enjoyed each other’s presence, shared a few kisses, talked about their lives apart and finally fell asleep in each other arms. That might seem like nothing for many couples, but for them it was all they could have at that moment, and it was so much more that what they had hoped for years. 

Merlin moved slightly in Arthur arms and decided he could enjoy the moment for a little while longer. At least until Arthur’s alarm rang.

***

“You did it Merlin!” Gwaine shouted as he ran to congratulate his friend. 

Yes, he had done it! His first jump on the Bergisel! His first step to join the elite of ski jumping! He knew the jumps hadn’t been perfect and that he landed nearly on his backside, but he had jumped from a Large hill and was giddy with joy and adrenaline.

That excitement lasted for the whole day as he managed three other jumps, even adding a telemark landing to the last one. 

Gaius and Tristan were really happy with his progress and so was Merlin! That’s why he decided a celebration was in order, and that night they went out with Gwaine and a few others jumpers.

They had drinks, they danced, they drank more and Merlin ended the night sitting in the snow with Gwaine, watching the stars and talking about their future.

Merlin didn’t realise Gwaine was so close, and it was when his friend kissed him that he came out of his daze. At first, he didn’t react; it wasn’t unpleasant and the alcohol made him sluggish. But sharing his first kiss with Gwaine, slightly drunk, wasn’t what Merlin had wanted, and so he gently pushed him away.

“Gwaine, stop, please…”

“Sorry, I thought you…”

“It’s not about you Gwaine but… I love someone else.”

“Oh… I see… One of the guys?” Gwaine asked, talking about their training partners.

“No. Someone I left in Germany… And I’m not over it yet.”

“Alright, I understand. Can we stay friends still?”

“Of course!”

And Merlin hugged Gwaine as a promise. 

He was also the one to bring him aspirin the next morning.

***

Being on that podium next to Arthur felt so unreal, but the weight of that medal around his neck brought Merlin back to reality. They were really there, sharing that moment, not as rivals, not even as friends, but as lovers. 

Merlin looked up as Arthur smiled to the photographs, and he must have sensed it because Arthur looked back and smiled. A very personal smile the jumper didn’t share with the world. One made just for Merlin, as if they were alone. For a brief second, Merlin wondered if Arthur knew that it would probably be immortalised by the photographers, but it felt too good to really care about.

Merlin got the confirmation that their exchanged had been noticed a little later as his phone chimed. It was a message from Gwaine.

“Are you and the King shagging?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Saw the pics from the podium… Great eye fucking.”

Merlin sighed, hoping there wouldn’t be rumors. Ski jumping wasn’t a largely broadcasted sport, but it was the Olympics! And Arthur and he were just getting together. He didn’t want to care about telling other people, coming out, and things like that.

He hesitated to send a message to Arthur about the pictures, but he had to concentrate for the team event of the next day and they agreed not to exchange too many messages that afternoon. So Merlin went back to the Village and joined some other British athletes to go and support their fellow countrymen.

***

He did it! Triple Olympic Champion! In the stands, Merlin couldn’t help but jump in the air. Arthur and his teammates had just won the team event, beating Norway and Austria by just a few points.

Merlin immediately ran towards the athletes’ zone. He had to see Arthur, to congratulate him. The security guard checked his badge, and Merlin ran again. Arthur was being held in triumph by his teammates and Merlin had, once again, to wait. 

Though, as soon as he passed under the inflatable arch, Arthur noticed him and it was Arthur who run this time.

“Merlin!”

They hugged, a little too tight, a little too long, the contact carrying so many emotions, promises and expectations.

“Tonight, Merlin,” Arthur murmured and Merlin nodded.

Just a few hours and finally they would have some time, alone, only for them. At the moment, though, Arthur had to leave and join his teammates for pictures and the plushies ceremony.

Merlin decided to stay around, still wanting to share the moment with Arthur even if not publicly.

He was waiting at the exit of the ski jumping site when his phone chimed announcing a text from Gwaine.

“WHAT WHERE YOU DOING THERE HUGGING ARTHUR?”

“We may be together.” Merlin answered. Gwaine was his best friend; he had no reason to hide it from him anymore.

“And you want the whole world to know it?”

That’s when Merlin realised that, once again, they hadn’t been careful. It was too late though.

Another message came in, from Arthur this time.

“Come to the German house at 9PM.”

“Aren’t you celebrating?”

“Yes. And I want you with me.”

“I’m still at Alpensia… We need to talk about that.”

Arthur didn’t answer, but he came to find Merlin just a few minutes later. He went for a hug, but Merlin moved back.

“Wait… Not here.”

“There’s no one here, Merlin,” Arthur pointed out. 

“We haven’t been very careful in the past days, Arthur… On the podium and when I came here today. People are noticing things.”

“And?”

“You don’t care?” Merlin was getting frustrated by Arthur’s lack of reaction.

“Merlin… I’ve waited for you for nearly ten years. Do you think I’ll let people stop me now? I want to make the most of my time with you… In front of the cameras, too! I don’t want to hide. Look at what Adam Rippon, Eric Radford and Gus Kenworthy are doing! They have received such great support!”

Merlin listened to Arthur’s arguments. He was right, but Merlin realised he was mostly afraid because he had never ever entertained the idea of coming out during his career. He had no reason to… before Arthur at least.

“I… I don’t know Arthur. I never really thought about doing this… And it’s so sudden.”

“I understand. If you’re not ready, we will wait. I’ll be more discreet,” Arthur reassured Merlin, putting his hand on his shoulders.

“I… I don’t know,” Merlin confessed, leaning against Arthur’s torso, needing the physical reassurance of a hug.

“I love you, Merlin, and I’d give everything to have you celebrating with us tonight, but I can’t promise there won’t be pictures or videos posted on the web, so it’s your choice.”

“I love you too. Leave me some time to think about it?”

“Of course! Just message me later, ok?”

Merlin nodded and hugged Arthur a little more before leaving.

***

Merlin looked at the ceiling of his room, lost in his thoughts. In the past hour he had toyed with the idea of coming out. What it would change, what it would meant for Arthur and him, what it would meant for him as a gay athlete and for his fans… He knew that he was pressuring himself in wanting to make a decision in such a short time, but he wasn’t sure waiting would make it easier.

Though, there was perhaps someone who could help him. He turned and took his phone from the bedside table. He did a quick calculation about time zones and phoned his mother.

***

Leaving his mum had been the hardest sacrifice Merlin had to make in order to fulfill his ski jumping dream, though, they stayed very close. Merlin phoned her nearly every day telling her about his day, his training, his friends, the new German words he had learned.

She was the only one to know everything about his life, and even when Merlin tried to hide something, it didn’t last long.

That day, he had told her about his training in the pool and the new boy that had joined them. 

“Merlin, what’s bothering you?” his mother had asked as he started talking about his hate of Sauerkraut.

“Nothing is bothering me.” 

“Don’t lie, I can hear it in your voice.”

“It’s not important,” Merlin lied again.

“If something is bothering my boy, then it is important.”

Merlin sighed. Perhaps talking about it with his mother would help? It wouldn’t be his secret anymore? He was worried about her reaction though.

“I’m in love,” he finally confessed.

“Awww, my boy is growing up! What’s her name? Is she jumping too?”

“It’s not a she, Mum.”

Merlin held his breath, waiting for his mother’s reaction. 

“Oh! So what’s his name then? Is he training with you?”

And that was it. From that moment, his mum had accepted him wholly, never questioning his preferences and she had been the only one to know about his love for Arthur for years.

***

Merlin waited in front of the building where the German team stayed. He had just sent a message to Arthur asking him to meet him outside. He hoped the celebrations hadn’t begun yet and that Arthur would have read his message. 

After a few minutes, Arthur appeared. 

“Hey.”

He looked unsure, probably anxious about Merlin’s decision.

“Hey.”

“So?”

“I really wasn’t sure what to do… so I phoned my Mum. I told her about us… and about me coming here. I didn’t want her to learn it through the media.” 

“You coming here? Does that mean you’ll stay for the party?”

“Yes. I’ll celebrate your victories with you tonight, and they can take pictures or film, I don’t care. But I’m not ready yet for a full coming out. I want to see how things will go between us; I want to take my time, do it in our way when we will be both ready.”

“That’s alright with me. So no kisses tonight?”

“Oh there will be kisses, lots of it, but later, in your room…On your bed.” Merlin added with a suggestive tone.

“I’m not sure I really want to go to this party, you know,” Arthur joked.

Merlin laughed and followed his boyfriend to the German house.

***

Merlin had kept his promise. There had been kisses, lots of them. And a wonderful blowjob followed by more kisses and touches. Arthur and Merlin had enjoyed the discovery of each other’s bodies, taking their time even if they had waited for this moment for so long. But they both were quite tired and whatever the media said about sex in the Olympic Village, the tiny bed wasn’t the most comfortable place.

They were now lying in a tight embrace, satisfied and content.

“You know, Merlin,” Arthur said after kissing Merlin’s head. “From all the victories I got here in Korea, you’re the most precious to me.”

“Awww… That was quite cheesy!”

“Hey! We haven’t mixed in years! You don’t know if I have become a cheesy guy!” Arthur joked.

Merlin laughed a little.

“You’re right, though, “ he said, more seriously. “We don’t know each other that well… We both have changed a lot since Oberstdorf.”

Arthur moved to lay on his side, turned towards Merlin to see his face.

“You’re right… But… I’m ready to make this work… Whatever it takes, I want to give us a chance, to make up for the time we lost. Though, we have time. In the past days, we rushed things, but I know that if we want this story to last, we have to slow down, learn to know each other again, learn how to juggle between our careers and our relationship.”

Merlin nodded. Arthur’s words were the exact reflection of his thoughts. 

“Yes… Let’s finish the season, and then we could go on holidays together… Just you and me.”

“I’d like that so much.”

They exchanged a soft kiss, and Arthur lay on his back again, drawing Merlin into his arms again.

“I think that, for the first time in years, I’m looking forward to the end of the season,” Arthur said.

“Venice? I’ve never been there… Or an idyllic island in the middle of the ocean? Or India! I’ve always wanted to go there.”

“Wherever you want as long as we’re together,” Arthur answered.

“You’re definitely cheesier than I remembered.”

“Don’t you like that?” Arthur asked.

“I think I could get used to it.”

Merlin nestled more comfortable against Arthur’s torso. Yes, he could get used to all this.


End file.
